by Gene G. Goodson
The heat rose with the sun yesterday. Padding around in her bunny slippers and "I'm a D Cup" nightshirt, Robbie read the first day of summer like a catalogue. It promised to be a HOT one and a grilling culinary apocalypse -- so HOT the love bugs cancelled interstate windshield and bumper suicides.
A huge red curler bobbed across her forehead as she slowly opened the drapes to the glass wall overlooking her backdoor swimming pool and the community private golf course. A tiny ripple in the otherwise calm, clear water got her attention where she was standing. Puzzled, she flung open the sliding glass doors with a wave of adrenaline and probably profanity when she came face to face with a "tiny," back-stroking snake.
Her eyeballs and the snake's eyeballs were the same size as they screamed in unison. He did not exit in an orderly fashion: he immediately played dead. She ran.
ANIMAL PLANET's documentary, "The Loch Ness of Tarpon Springs," will be broadcast Halloween night.
Reminds me of Robbie's sons' snakes-in-a-basketball-basket caper. But that's another story.
I'm no longer making things up as far as I know.
And here's that lovable pooch Tattoo with a final comment:
The snake's name is 'Sunshine Snuggle Britches'. It is the length of a school bus and weighed more than the cast of 'Grease II'. It lives on a diet of small dogs named Angel, giant turtles, alligators and employees of Animal Kingdom. It swallowed the chimney - twice. If Sunshine had stuck out his tongue at the 'Snake-Whisperer' (aka Mama/Moppy/River) she would have tinkled in her tightie-whities and called out the National Guard and Navy Seals.
G. G. Goodson writes online using the penname "RiverDancer." A retired Corporate Director of Human Resources, she works occasionally as a Surface Mine Safety consultant. Write Gene Goodson at GOODSON E-mail .
A Boy and His Treasure
Saturday Night Sweating
The Fishing Trip
Rockin' With Nanny
A Boy and His Fiddle
Before the Music Died
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